Déjà Vu

I only feel déjà vu with negative experiences, almost never positive.

Our first three children came after completely complication-free pregnancies. Not once in those pregnancies did I get a feeling of déjà vu. Why? Because there’s nothing that sticks in the mind when everything goes as it should. But when something goes wrong the mind latches onto it.

We’re now on our sixth pregnancy. Our fourth child, Andrew Paul, was stillborn. After Andrew we had a miscarriage. With this pregnancy I feel déjà vu many times a day. There were so many events that led up to Andrew’s death that I can’t go for very long without having memories forced to the surface.

And in the latest ultrasound there were several uncomfortable similarities to our last ultrasound with Andrew. The baby looks beautiful and very healthy. But it’s still very worrying.

All we can do is pray for God to protect him, and trust Him to hold us. Trusting is so hard.

I am thankful that Adam Ford‘s comic today was on trusting God.
This is one of the panels. The whole comic is well worth a read.


Now read this

On Thought and Doing Things the Hard Way

(This may be a longer post. It was originally two posts, but the ideas were locked in a death grip. I tried to separate them, but it was no use.) It is a hallmark of mankind that we, like water, follow the path of least resistance. When... Continue →